28

Jul

m0llyh8su:

therickymartin:

andysambergsbitch:

explaining autism

Holy fuck Arthur was on some next level shit

Oh my god

27

Jul

(Source: alphalewolf)

kissykissycas:

When I die spread my ashes at Comic Con because that’s probably the only way I’ll ever get there.

rhibros:

tumblr is blocked on my schools internet for being a dating site

image

hooddoggy:

i want to get so good at giving sly digs that you dont even realize i insulted you until like a week later when you randomly start crying while eating breakfast

lindsaylohoean:

WHY DOES YOUR NOSE RUN AND YOUR FEET SMELL WHERE’S THE LOGIC

Educating a Friend

Me:
So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.
Guy Friend:
What's his name?
Me:
I don't know. Frank?
Guy Friend:
No.
Me:
Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?
Guy Friend:
I don't think it really suits him, but okay.
Me:
...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?
Guy Friend:
Do I have any money?
Me:
Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.
Guy Friend:
Duh, I buy him lunch.
Me:
Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--
Guy Friend:
Nah, it's cool.
Me:
Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."
Guy Friend:
What five bucks?
Me:
Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."
Guy Friend:
What? Why would I--
Me:
I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."
Guy Friend:
Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.
Me:
I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"
Guy Friend:
Well, yeah, but...
Guy Friend:
...
Guy Friend:
...
Guy Friend:
oh

mewtoot:

if i go to hell i’m gonna torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or if it’s just me

(Source: gay8)

jon-snow:

god bless sdcc

coolscar:

somebody told me that you made a text post that looked like a text post i made in february of last year

lydiabutz:

This guy in my art class forgot his paint brush so he just cut off a chunk of his hair and taped it to a pencil.

I feel like he has more commitment to fine art than I do.

(Source: rickyancey)

penicillium-pusher:

I think I may be gayer than originally planned

elricbrother:

My sexual orientation is straight

to the computer when I wake up

artichokehold:

how to walk a mile: a 5280 step program